Artist Statement

Few artists have been able to inspire me and help me heal. I remember being in high school, feeling lost and devastated because of my mother’s passing. I remember listening to Keaton Henson’s music when I needed to cry and let myself navigate my grief. I remember watching Studio Ghibli films when I wanted to be transported to a new world and to feel the love I had lost. I remember looking at Junji Ito’s art when I thought the ugliest parts of myself were threatening to take control of me. This piece is an ode to these artists and to my experiences with loss and grief. 

For the scene, I wanted to use the inspiration behind the alley in Spirited Away. I wanted to incorporate Junji Ito and Keaton Henson’s monsters in the piece, as well as my own inspirations. This piece was created as a representation of my grief and the loss of my mother. I wanted to represent grief as an external force. Emotions, positive or negative, do not define or control a person. The monsters in this piece are not manipulating or influencing the two human figures. They are simply existing. I did this to take back control of my emotions. Therapy helped me understand that emotions are things that pass. 

I created this piece with materials I had laying around: newsprint, pen and pencil crayon. When I was a kid I would draw with my mother and we would use scrap paper and cheap materials to create pieces. We often used pencil crayons and materials we had access to for arts and crafts projects. My choice of materials was an ode to my artistic past with my mother. 

I chose to only use black pen and pencil crayons to convey the themes of grief, loss and uncertainty. Some details of my piece and muddled to represent how I felt when my sadness was at its most profound. Nothing seemed real and I could not distinguish myself and my feelings. 

This piece has an air of melancholy. It represents both my state of mind when I was a young teenager navigating emotions far too heavy to handle and my present self. In the past 7 years I have learned a lot about life and about myself. Working on this piece helped me cope and made me realize that I am the one in control of my feelings and my life. I know how to handle grief with more poise, and I know that I do not have to live in the past.